STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
