Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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