I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize