YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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