I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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