HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
