I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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