I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
