i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
