is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
