He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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