Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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