I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
