I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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