Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
