so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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