my room smells like sperm. sweet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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