You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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