So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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