just tell him i said nine months
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
