i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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