I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize