now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize