I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
