I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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