Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
