# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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