I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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