Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
