Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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