Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
