2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
