It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize