His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
