woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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