now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
