Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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