What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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