It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
