Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
