So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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