try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
