i need an iv and a liver transplant
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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