I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
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He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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