you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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