it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
