i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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