Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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