Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
