My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
