He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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