Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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