Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
