I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize