I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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