You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
