Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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