I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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