He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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