I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
