i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
