I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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