He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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