I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
