Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
