he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize