we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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