Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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