So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
