I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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