she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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