I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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