he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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